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Curiosity and Self-Awareness are Must-Haves for Handling Conflict

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Summary

Marion Løken spoke about handling conflicts in teams at NDC Oslo 2023 and gave four telltale signs to spot good conflicts: focusing on topics rather than targeting people, prioritising the success of the team over individual interests, getting addressed promptly, and being solution-oriented. Building trust is important and it's always better to have a foundation of trust when entering a conflict. Løken suggested treating curiosity as a superpower and exercising it like a muscle. She also suggested self-awareness of emotions and reactions, creating an environment where all voices are heard, and staying humble and being willing to apologise when things go wrong. Additionally, cultural norms need to be taken into consideration when dealing with conflicts.

Q&As

What is the importance of curiosity and self-awareness in handling conflict?
The importance of curiosity and self-awareness in handling conflict is that they can help to foster trust and psychological safety, shift the conflict from a focus on being right to finding common ground, and create an environment where all voices are heard.

What are four telltale signs of good conflicts?
The four telltale signs of good conflicts are that they focus on topics rather than targeting people, prioritize the success of the team over individual interests, get addressed promptly, and are solution-oriented.

How can self-awareness help prevent negative responses in conflicts?
Self-awareness can help prevent negative responses in conflicts by allowing individuals to pause and reflect on their feelings before saying or doing something that they might regret later.

What tips does Marion Løken have for finding the right balance in a team?
Marion Løken suggests paying attention to the number and nature of topics discussed in a team retrospective as an indicator of the right balance. She also suggests adapting to cultural norms when it comes to dealing with conflict.

How can a bad conflict be turned into a good one?
To turn a bad conflict into a good one, Marion Løken suggests making adjustments such as clarifying the conflict's goal, coaching someone with a lot at stake, taking a break to reconnect and focus on commonalities, and acknowledging biases.

AI Comments

👍 This article provides a great insight into the importance of self-awareness and curiosity when it comes to handling conflicts. The tips Marion Løken gave in the article are useful and applicable to many different situations.

👎 This article does not cover all aspects of conflict resolution. While it provides useful tips, it is limited in scope and fails to address more complex issues that could arise from team conflict.

AI Discussion

Me: It talks about how curiosity and self-awareness are must-haves for handling conflicts. It explains that conflicts should focus on topics rather than people, prioritize the success of the team over individual interests, get addressed promptly, and be solution-oriented. It also suggests treating curiosity as a superpower to help shift the conflict from a focus on being right to finding common ground, and building trust and psychological safety.

Friend: Wow, that's really interesting! What are the implications of the article?

Me: Well, the article suggests that it's important to cultivate self-awareness and be aware of our own emotions and reactions when dealing with conflicts. It also emphasizes the importance of establishing a fair process to ensure all voices are heard and decisions are made collectively. Lastly, it suggests that conflicts can be used as a litmus test to gauge the safety of the environment.

Action items

Take time to reflect on your own emotions and reactions when in a conflict.
Practice curiosity in low-stakes situations to build the habit.
Invest time and effort in building trust with your team members.

Technical terms

Curiosity: A strong desire to know or learn something.
Self-Awareness: Conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires.
Conflict: A state of disagreement or opposition between people or ideas.
Trust: A firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.
Psychological Safety: A shared belief held by members of a team that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking.
Groupthink: A psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an irrational or dysfunctional decision-making outcome.
Bias: A prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another, usually in a way considered to be unfair.
Cultural Norms: The shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterize a particular society or group.
Humility: The quality of having a modest or low view of one's importance.