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Want to create a stronger bond with your kids? First relinquish control

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Summary

Psychologist and author Shefali Tsabary encourages parents to focus on their reactions to their children's behavior, rather than the behavior itself, in order to create a stronger bond. She recommends reframing disrespect, managing expectations, and being in charge instead of in control in order to be a more intentional parent. Tsabary also advises parents to move away from shame and blame, and act from a place of humility while recognizing that their children are here to live their own lives, not their parents'.

Q&As

What is the concept of conscious parenting?
Conscious parenting is a parenting model based on understanding and connecting with your child rather than trying to control them.

What are some tips from Shefali Tsabary for being a more intentional parent?
Some tips from Shefali Tsabary for being a more intentional parent include moving away from shame and blame, acting from a place of humility, reframing disrespect, and managing expectations.

How can parents move away from shame and blame in their parenting style?
Parents can move away from shame and blame in their parenting style by recognizing that fear and punishment do not work and viewing the parent-child relationship as a mutual, reciprocal partnership.

What is the difference between being in control and being in charge as a parent?
The difference between being in control and being in charge as a parent is that being in control means trying to control the child's every action, while being in charge means managing the child's environment.

How can parents manage their expectations when taking their children to places like Target or Disney World?
Parents can manage their expectations when taking their children to places like Target or Disney World by being aware of their child's surroundings and expecting pushback or upset from overstimulated children.

AI Comments

👍 This article provides great tips on how to become a conscious parent and how to create a stronger bond with your kids.

👎 This article fails to address the challenges that come with long-term conscious parenting and does not provide solutions to common parenting issues.

AI Discussion

Me: It's about conscious parenting and how relinquishing control can create a stronger bond with your kids. It talks about how parents often get caught up in unnecessary power struggles with their kids, and how we should focus on our reactions to our child's behavior rather than the behavior itself.

Friend: That's really interesting. What are the implications of this article?

Me: The article has some great tips on how to be a more intentional parent, such as moving away from shame and blame, acting from a place of humility, and reframing disrespect. It also emphasizes the importance of managing our expectations and being in charge rather than trying to control our kids. Ultimately, the article encourages us to be more mindful of our parenting and to focus on connecting with our kids rather than trying to control them.

Action items

Take time to reflect on your own experiences and feelings when it comes to parenting.
Make an effort to move away from shame and blame when interacting with your children.
Create a plan for managing expectations and setting boundaries when taking your children to places like Target or Disney World.

Technical terms

Relinquish Control: To give up control or authority over something.
Conscious Parenting: A parenting style that focuses on understanding and connecting with a child, rather than controlling their behavior.
Power Struggles: A conflict between two people or groups in which each side is trying to gain control or authority over the other.
Shame and Blame: To make someone feel guilty or embarrassed for their actions, or to assign responsibility for something to someone.
Humility: The quality of being humble; not thinking of oneself as better than others.
Micromanage: To manage or control every detail of a situation or process.
Reciprocal Partnership: A relationship in which two people or groups have mutual obligations and responsibilities to each other.
Pushback: Resistance or opposition to something.
Overstimulated: To be exposed to too much stimulation, often resulting in feeling overwhelmed or anxious.